


In His Eyes Were a Thousand Stars on a Dark Sky

by delicate_mageflower



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Anders Defense Squad, Anders Positive, Dragon Age II Endgame, Dragon Age II Spoilers, F/M, Fix-It, Headcanon, Justice Defense Squad, Justice Positive, Kirkwall Chantry, Mage Rebellion, Mage Rights, Post-Canon, Soulcanon, Varric is an unreliable narrator
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-26
Updated: 2016-04-01
Packaged: 2018-04-27 20:16:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5062576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/delicate_mageflower/pseuds/delicate_mageflower
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anders and Hawke: a love story.</p><p>5000% Anders positive Anders defense, filled with soulcanon to make everything better.</p><p>
  <b>[NOT abandoned, but on hiatus]</b>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. We Were Stars Colliding, Now We Crash Like Lightning

**Author's Note:**

> This starts off as an expansion of my fix-it ficlet "In Revolution," which was always intended to just be a writing exercise to motivate me to eventually start working on this, and will continue into post-canon. Because I so love DA2 and the Kirkwall Crew, especially the Supreme OTP to end all OTPs, but the narrative is just so damn flawed. Thank the Maker for the whole Varric-is-an-unreliable-narrator thing allowing for extremely liberal application of headcanon.
> 
> Tags and rating likely to change as the series progresses.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kirkwall's Chantry is in ruins and its citizens a mess, but Hawke's reaction is not quite what Anders expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title of this fic is from the song "Inside a Boy" by My Brightest Diamond, as is the name of this chapter.

Boom.  
  
Just like that, the Kirkwall Chantry had gone out in a blaze. For one glorious moment, the very sky looking over the City of Chains appeared to ignite above them. Hawke couldn't help the overwhelming sense of pride she felt as the scene played out before her.  
  
She struggled not to smile. Surrounded by the ensuing chaos, she knew it would be deemed an offensively inappropriate reaction from this shithole's designated Champion. Although she was no longer honestly sure why she should care. _Symbol of balance and compromise,_ she thought to herself. _Now you see where you can shove that load of horseshit._  
  
The people were, of course, in a panic, with the Knight-Commander declaring the fucking Right of Annulment for the city's Circle. Which only meant it had already been sent for, before any of this had even occurred, and anyone who had actually been paying any attention knew it. _No wonder Anders had felt the need to act. No wonder it had come to this. Maybe if that useless Grand Cleric could have pulled her head out of her ass for one Maker-forsaken second..._  
  
Hawke barely even registered anything going on around her. Just going through the motions of the asshole Templars, the fighting in the streets. Just an average day in Kirkwall, really. She had more important things to attend to, anyway.  
  
Anders had broken away from the crowd and was sitting by himself, staring off into the distance. He looked so sad, perhaps moreso than she had ever seen him before. It broke her heart. He didn't move as she approached him. Even when she stopped directly behind him, he didn't turn to look at her. He was shaking slightly, awaiting her judgment.  
  
"You did what was needed. I'm only sorry that apparently no one else had thought to do so sooner. Perhaps even I'm just as guilty as Elthina."  
  
She spoke as firmly and as clearly as she possibly could, doing her damnedest to draw his attention towards her, to get her words through to him. For years he had been her rock. He healed her wounds and he protected her in battle, but that was only what everyone else saw. He was always there for her through the nightmares, and through the nights no sleep came at all. He got her through losing her family one by one, through the trauma and the guilt and the flashbacks. He held her when she panicked, held her when she cried. At the end of the day, he gave her everything, and she often found herself hoping she was half as successful in supporting and comforting him. She had known him for so long now, loved him passionately with body and soul, taken him into her home as soon as she could possibly get him there. She was with him on his bad days just as much as his good days, and she had stood by him throughout everything they had seen and done together up until this point. She only hoped he knew that she certainly wasn't going to stop now.  
  
He tentatively turned towards hers, seemingly still wary of making direct contact. His amber eyes were sunken in from lack of sleep, and she could see that they were bloodshot as though he’d recently been crying. He’d put so much of himself into this. Dedicated so much effort, sacrificed so much sleep, put in so much of his heart and soul. He was willing to give his life for this, willing to give up everything for this cause, and all she could think in that moment was how he was far more of a champion than anyone would ever give him credit for, moreso than even she who wore the title. She reached a hand to him, but he did not immediately move to take it.  
  
"Anders. Justice. Both of you need to listen to me. I love you. I..." Hawke paused a moment when she saw Anders perk up to meet her gaze. Grateful, she took in a breath before continuing. "I love you so much. And I have never been prouder of you. Of both of you, you hear me. You did it, love. Now everyone can see the war that's been going on behind closed doors for ages and no one can deny this conflict any longer. And you...you have been so brave. You have been through so much, and if anyone was going to start this, though Maker knows it should have started a long bloody time ago, I'm so glad it was you. You have earned that right, dammit, and I just..."  
  
"Marian, love, you've never been very good at the motivational speeches." Anders chuckled slightly despite himself as he took her hand. "But I do love it when you try. But you're not...upset? You're not angry?"  
  
"Anders," she spoke his name softly, almost like a prayer. "For three years I waited for you. In those three years, I kept you by my side as often as I could. I watched you, looked out for you, made you a top priority. I saw you, and it wasn't lost on me for a single moment that it has always worked both ways for us. I saw you, I saw your heart, just like I see it now. And it's only ever made me love you more. But in those years, I...I learned so much about you in that time. I understand why you thought you needed to push me away, I do, but that was never going to work. You know how I feel about you, how I have felt about you since the moment we first met. And in the years we've been together since, I have never stopped looking out for you. I have worked to keep you properly rested and fed, I have always done everything in my power to keep you safe, and I have been patient waiting for you to come to bed all those nights when you never did. Not even because you have always done the same for me, not even because you are the best part of my life and I will give you everything I possibly can, but because I have always believed in you. I have always believed in what you are doing, and that includes what you have accomplished here tonight. _Especially_ this. I know exactly what kind of man you are, Anders. Better than you do, I'd wager. And there is no one I'd rather be here with right now. If that means spending the rest of our lives running, so be it. You're not the only apostate in this relationship, you know, I am already familiar with hiding for your life. As long as we're running together, love, then that is all I need. Do you understand me, Anders? Do _you_ understand me, Justice?"  
  
Anders simply nodded and Hawke gripped his hand and helped him up to his feet.  
  
As soon as he was standing, she grabbed him by his shoulders and pulled him to her in a tight embrace. "My love, did you really think I wouldn't figure out what the sela petrae and drakestone would be used for? With how we just _had_ to stop by the Chantry after we collected them? I appreciate that you wanted to protect me, plausible deniability and all that, but you know damn well that I was trained outside the Circle, and I've picked up some unconventional knowledge along the way. So don't you think for one moment that you had me fooled or that I wasn't happy to help."  
  
"And you never said?"  
  
"I trust you, Anders, and I trusted then that you knew what you were doing and why you wanted to do it the way you did. I was not about to take that away from you."  
  
Out of the corner of her eye, Hawke detected the blue glow of Justice forming around her, followed by the spirit's commanding voice.  
  
“You have always been out greatest ally, Marian, even when I was unable to see it. I know I had been quick to judge where you would stand in Anders’s life, and that was unjust, and I have still not found mortal words or gestures powerful enough to adequately apologise for it, or to express my gratitude over your persistence. You have always been there for us, for both of us, and you must know that your help and support are appreciated."  
  
Hawke smiled softly against their neck, head buried in their shoulder. "I understand, Justice. I know that the mortal world has been a difficult adjustment for you. I can only imagine what it must be like for you to be so far from home, in a world so different from your own, and to share a mind with another living consciousness. That must be so jarring for you both. But you two have made so much progress, and I can't tell you how amazing that's been to see. And I know it will continue, that it will only keep getting better. Just be gentler to one another, and be gentler to yourselves. Loving you is a part of loving Anders. I knew that going in, and I have never seen it as a detriment. I've just wished for you to learn to love yourselves as I have. Look what you've done here. See what you have been able accomplish even when you were fighting each other for so much of it. Imagine the kind of good you could do if you weren't, what you can do from here!"  
  
Justice's blue aura began to fade as Anders pulled her in closer.  
  
"Marian, I...I honestly don't know what to say right now."  
  
"Do you love me, Anders?"  
  
“You know that I do. More than I’d ever thought possible.”  
  
"Then, at this moment, that is all that needs to be said."  
  
Hawke lifted her head from his shoulder and ran her fingers through Anders's hair as he just smiled, probably the most genuinely he ever had, and she had never been more grateful to catch a single moment of anything in her entire life.  
  
Varric very loudly, very purposefully cleared his throat from the distance behind them. _Oh right,_ Hawke caught herself. _Kirkwall is still on fire._  
  
“It seems we still have much to do here, love. This is it. This is the beginning. Let’s get out there. Let’s tell the world, the Knight-Commander, that I love an apostate and I will stand beside him.”  
  
Anders couldn't help his laughter at that. “You are perfect, Marian, you must know that.”  
  
Hawke just laughed to herself right back as she walked with him, one hand gripping Anders’s hand and the other already defensively clutching her staff.  
  
“If you say so. Now, let’s get back to our friends so we can burn this city and everyone else in it to the fucking ground.”


	2. In the Heat of the Action, in the Settled Dust, Hold and Say

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This merry band of misfits starts making their way through Kirkwall after the boom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is, much like the first chapter, VERY dialogue-heavy, and this is more than likely going to be true of the whole thing. And just a heads up, although it will be very obvious, in this world state Hawke is a blood mage and Carver is a Warden. Also worth noting that even though I replayed DA2 very recently, I don't recall every little detail of the Last Straw (so this won't be 100% accurate to all of it), but I don't honestly feel like I really need to—at least not at this point—in order to get the story I want to tell across. And again, as is basically the theme here, all about that headcanon.
> 
> (And I did make a concentrated effort to keep everyone in character while staying true to my personal headcanon, hopefully that shows. The extent of said headcanons will probably also become more apparent as time goes on.)
> 
> The title of this chapter is from the song "Dominion/Mother Russia" by the Sisters of Mercy.

"What have you stepped in this time, Isabela?"

"Oh come on, Rivaini, this'll be fun!" The wheels in Varric's head were already turning as they made their way around the Gallows.

"You're just excited you have something so dramatic to write about," Isabela responded with a laugh.

"With the city in ruins and war on the horizon, the Champion and her loyal companions fought their way straight into the heart of the rebellion against the ruthless, power-hungry Knight-Commander..."

"Don't forget the brave and beautiful blond rebel mage who started it," Hawke said with a light-hearted grin. She and Anders were still hand in hand as they all walked together.

"Yeah, Hawke, you and Blondie can do your disgustingly cute thing somewhere else. Sorry, but _you're_ the selling point here."

"Thanks, Varric. Love you, too." Anders was still in good spirits after speaking with Hawke. Obviously, understandably, nervous for what was soon to come, but for the moment everyone seemed to be stuck in a silent agreement that whatever was about to happen would happen, and they could worry about it when they got there.

Hawke mockingly put on her best defensive voice. "But I put in an alliteration and everything!"

Varric let out an exaggerated sigh and dramatically rolled his eyes, making no effort to conceal his amusement at the exchange.

"This is all very exciting, isn't it? I never imagined that one day I'd be part of a rebellion!" Merrill's enthusiasm was unapologetically delightful.

"Leave it to you to find the bright side in everything, Daisy," Varric replied with a smile.

"Says the dwarf already working out how he's going to spin this into his next best-seller," Hawke laughed back at him.

"I'm serious, Hawke! Daisy, your optimism is refreshing as ever. At the very least it's a nice contrast from what we typically hear from anyone else. Don't ever change."

Fenris was the first to acknowledge the reality of the unspoken.

"You do realise we could all be running straight towards our death right now, yes?" He wasn't quite scowling, but he wasn't quite _not_ scowling, either.

"Broody, right on cue! But you know, you could've just left back there if you _actually_ didn't want to be here."

"You are correct," he admitted. "You are my friends, the first I've ever truly known, and I would not abandon you now. I _will_ stand with you, just as all of you did when Danarius came for me."

"Awww, Fenris! That may be the nicest thing you've ever said to me," Anders teased.

"Do not push your luck, mage," Fenris let out a sigh. "I may not agree with your methods, and I am still wary of what may come of this... _revolution_ you're so set on, but I can understand the reason behind it. I know what it is to be trapped, to be forced into submission, made to feel like your life is not your own. I came to see some time ago that you and I are not so different after all, whether either of us like it or not."

Hawke squeezed Anders's hand and whispered a quiet "I told you so."

"Well, umm, thank you. I appreciate your support," was all Anders could say in response.

"Templars!" Aveline shouted back at them as they crossed into Lowtown. She was quietly walking ahead of everyone else, keeping herself separated as she tried to process her internal conflict over the situation.

Hawke let go of Anders's hand and ran towards Aveline, allowing Anders to stay back and keep watch over everyone, where he could safely put up barriers and keep his mana reserve in check for when he was inevitably needed for healing.

Hawke launched a wall of ice towards the group of Templars congregated at the bottom of the steps that led to the Bazaar. Aveline readied her sword as another unexpectedly slashed through one of the frozen Templars from behind.

"Hello again, sister." Carver walked over the fallen Templar, feigning a dour expression.

Hawke just smiled at him as he came towards her, and met him with a quick hug.

"As nice as it is to see you, Carver," Hawke joked as a chain of lightning from Merrill shattered the remaining Templars, "this isn't exactly the _best_ time for a family reunion."

"Nice to see you, too. In seriousness, however, I will have to return to the Wardens as soon as I am able. But we were near the city already, and I ran straight this way when I heard what had happened. Is everyone alright?"

"You mean aside from the Grand Cleric?" Hawke laughed. She looked positively smug, and she no longer felt obligated to hide it.

"Yes, well..." Carver hesitated for just a moment. "I won't pretend I'm okay with what your _friend_ here has done," he nodded towards Anders, "or that I'm not at least somewhat concerned that you evidently condone this, but I am glad to see that you are all well."

"You know full well that I condone this, brother, just as you know full well that once this is all over I will remain at Anders's side." Hawke looked Carver in the eyes as she spoke, resolute, and a tense moment of silence followed.

"Alright, Marian, I will concede. I'm not going to pretend to fully understand why Anders has done this or why you support him. And you don't need to tell me, I know. We've been over it how many times? _I know._ I'm not a mage, I can't truly grasp how it must be for the three of you." He shot an awkward smile towards Merrill, which she returned. "But I do know that if it were you in that Circle, or..." Carver paused for just a moment, swallowing hard. "Or if it were Bethany, I'd want to burn this place down, as well. So I am here for you, sister, if you want me."

"Of course I want you here. Just play nice, alright?" She shot him a smirk, but the relief on her face was unconcealable.

Carver waved shyly at Merrill as he fell back to talk to Anders. Hawke anxiously looked back at them, and Anders just nodded.

"What the fuck were you thinking? Putting everyone in danger like that? You're lucky the Templars didn't drag all of you away on the spot!" Despite the seething evident in his voice, Carver spoke as quietly as he could manage, noting the elder Hawke gradually slowing her pace as she walked in front of them.

"I was thinking that the time for drastic measures was long overdue." Anders's tone was very matter-of-fact, Hawke's influence showing. "I was thinking of a world where people like Marian, like Merrill, like me, like countless others could live without fear, a world that wouldn't tell them they were cursed or damned because the Maker had given them magic. It should be seen as a gift if anything, surely not a punishment, and certainly not cause to steal innocent children from their mothers' arms and raise them to believe they're guilty just for being born. I was thinking of all the mages I couldn't save. All of those who had been killed or made Tranquil because of what the Templars thought they _might_ become, all of the mages in Kirkwall and Starkhaven and Maker-knows-where else who were illegally made Tranquil just so they'd be easier to abuse. I was thinking of your sister telling me about growing up hiding, running, in fear of what could happen to your family if any of you had been caught. The burden she believes had been placed on you and your mother. To put it simply, I was thinking of a world where mages are treated like fucking people. Where they have as much of a chance at life, at happiness, as anyone else. I was thinking about Marian."

"Alright."

"Is it?"

"Maybe. I don't know, Anders, I honestly don't. But I have seen the way you two look at each other. She certainly loves you, that much is very clear, and I can't help but worry that you'll end up hurting her in some form or another, and _this_ course of action does not do anything to alleviate that worry. For as much as the responsibility of watching over the family fell to her, I was still raised with the task of making sure my sisters were kept safe from outsiders. And I know it may not always have seemed like it to you, but I can't just stop taking that job seriously. Even if they do already know she's an apostate anyway. Even if they do call her 'Champion.'"

"I suppose, in all fairness, that I wouldn't rightly know what that sort of sibling relationship even looks like." Anders swallowed in an attempt to force down the undertone of sadness that always accompanied such statements. "I got a small taste of it back in Amaranthine with the Wardens, before the Hero of Ferelden left. But it wasn't until I met Marian that I truly realised what I'd been missing. These here assholes," he noted with a laugh,  
"are the closest thing to family I've really known since I was a child, for better or worse. And you don't need to worry about your sister, Carver. I used to worry about breaking her heart, too, you know. I spent far too long trying to convince her she'd be better off without me. But even aside from the fact that we both know she can take care of herself...after everything we've shared, everything we've done, after...well, after this...Maker help me, I am hers until the day I die."

"Alright," Carver repeated.

"Alright," Anders nodded. "You can stop pretending not to listen now, Marian."

"Don't worry about me, love. I'm not the one writing all this shit down," Hawke chuckled.

"Hey now," Varric mocked indignance. "I'm not writing _anything_ right now. Gotta keep both hands on Bianca, don't want her feeling lonely at a time like this. Taking mental notes, however...well..."

"Hawke!" Another shout from the front line.

"Awww, big girl's always breaking up all the fun. Oh well, I suppose. You three," Isabela waved her hand at Hawke, Anders, and Carver, "were starting to bore me anyway."

Isabela smiled as she pulled out her daggers and sped up.

"And to think, she'd almost missed all this fun, sailing off into the sunset and away from this garbage town those years ago," Hawke mused to no one in particular as she caught up with Aveline.

"Tread carefully, Hawke. There's a only few Templars, but it looks like there may also be an abomination."

They slowly made their way to a small group of Templars, all of whom were bleeding from their eyes, noses, mouths, and ears, bent over in pain before a young woman wielding magic via a long cut on her left arm.

"Maker's balls, Aveline, she's just a blood mage. You'd know if she were possessed, trust me. You'd think you'd have known Merrill and me long enough at this point to realise not all of us turn into fleshy homes for demons." Hawke gently placed a hand on Aveline's sword arm, guiding her to stand down.

"Right. Yes, of course," she replied with a long sigh. "Whatever am I to do with you, Hawke?"

"Oh come on, you know you love me," Hawke winked at Aveline before calling attention to the other mage. "Run! Those Templars aren't going anywhere, they're practically dead already! There's no need for you to stand around! Get out of here while you can!"

"Abominations are way more interesting to the readers, you know," Varric interjected as she sprinted from the scene.

"You're not _really_ going to write that poor girl like that, are you?" Anders frowned in Varric's direction.

"I just happen know what makes for an intriguing story, Blondie. It's what I do."

"Honestly, you two. This is _not_ an appropriate time for such discussion," Aveline said with a frown. "My guardsmen in the Gallows will easily be able to buy us some time, but that does not mean we should dawdle. We really ought to hurry, since we need to make damn sure we get to Orsino before Meredith does. _Someone_ needs to pay for all this."

"Stick in the mud," Isabela muttered under her breath.

"She does make a good point," Hawke admitted. "Alright, so let's move it along a bit faster, shall we?"

Everyone quickened their pace as they moved further into Lowtown, bracing themselves as they continued their way towards the Docks.


	3. Although I Was Burning, You're the Only Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotions run high as the end draws nearer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took way longer than I wanted it to, sorry about that. I had started really overthinking it, so I kind of just had to sit and write and simply not stop until it felt like a good end to the chapter. So that's what this is. Hopefully it turned out alright, haha.
> 
> Also, this gets soooooooo fluffy. And I am not sorry about that.
> 
> Title of this chapter is from the song "Only If for a Night" by Florence + the Machine.

"Oh good, we're under attack."

Anders cast barrier after barrier over everyone as they ran ahead of him, keeping an especially careful eye on Hawke and Merrill as they both moved to run their blades across their arms.

Hawke launched a wave of hemorrhaging magic over the other blood mage blocking their path as they made their way into the Docks, whom Merrill kept bound in place with an enslavement spell, quickly moving on to the pack of shades surrounding them after watching her fall.

Tempests and fireballs and ice and arrows flew as swords and mauls crashed into flesh, Fenris running straight into the Pride demon's path as Aveline and Carver jumped in front of Hawke, Varric, Isabela, and Merrill to take the brunt of its swirling vortex. He was able to take the demon with relative ease, moving like a ghost, powerful strikes fuelled by the lyrium in his skin. He toppled over with a curse upon completing his task, however, alert but not unscathed. Isabela moved her daggers swiftly through the few remaining shades, and Hawke drew Anders's attention.

"She certainly scraped you up a bit there, didn't she?" Fenris simply scowled at Anders's attempt to be casual. "You've got a few bruised ribs, but nothing seems to be broken or bleeding. I’m not sure exactly what properties that magic held, but I’m fairly certain you're rather fortunate to have escaped it relatively unharmed."

Anders pulsed healing magic over Fenris's torso before moving to cast quick heals on Hawke and Merrill.

"Anyone else?"

"I think we're alright, Anders," Aveline replied. It seemed as though the internal dialogue she'd been at with herself for most of the evening had concluded, and she remained with her friends, just as Hawke knew she would.

Still, she pulled Aveline aside as Anders checked over everyone else just to be safe.

"How're you holding up, Captain?"

"I'd feel a lot better if my friends didn't insist on fighting blood magic with blood magic. _Honestly,_ Hawke," Aveline rolled her eyes and Hawke just smirked.

"At least you got to see some actual demons this time! And think, the fun's just beginning!"

Aveline reattached her sword and shield to their holster and crossed her arms. "I understand that something had to be done, Hawke, sure. But it's taking a huge leap of faith for me to stand by you after Anders's stunt back there, and I certainly don't find the humour in any of this."

"Funny, big girl, now you sound like Justice," Isabela interjected with a grin.

“Hey now, you be nice to Justice!” Hawke smirked back.

"Justice," Aveline muttered under her breath. "Right."

Anders walked over to them, grabbing Hawke's hand again as they continued to move through the city.

"I can't say it's terribly surprising that Aveline would be difficult at a time like this," he said quietly. "I'm honestly alarmed she didn't run straight to Meredith's side."

"She'll come around, Anders. You know Aveline, she's just...really good at her job. Honestly, sometimes, a little too good at her job. And she takes it very, very seriously—"

"A little too seriously?" Anders quipped with a smile.

"Indeed, she does," Hawke grinned back at him. "But she's a been a good friend, even when her actions haven't always matched her intentions. She just wants to do the right thing, even though what _she_ sees as right isn't always such. She's stood by us now, however, and that could only be because at least a part of her knows that this _is_ what's right in this case, even if it doesn't necessarily look like it to most others."

Anders nodded and squeezed Hawke’s hand, which she returned. Everyone stopped when they reached the shipyard, watching as Isabela scoped out the options before them, taking only about a minute before deciding on the one she wanted.

“We’ll get back to the Gallows faster this way,” she proclaimed as she pointed towards the ship they’d be boarding. “And you, oh you are beautiful…”

“You two can have your alone time later, Rivaini,” Varric laughed. “Come on, Bianca’s getting restless.”

***

Isabela was right, it was a quick trip to the Gallows by boat, and it was only a brief moment before they were greeted by a group of mages facing off against a group of Templars, as well as Orsino and Meredith. It took everything in Hawke’s power not to laugh when Orsino proposed a truce. _Sure, just like trying to solve things peacefully has worked so well before._

It was almost a relief that Meredith was unwilling to entertain the idea, although Hawke knew she wouldn’t have let them try to come to an agreement at this point in any case. She wasn’t going to let Anders’s actions be all for naught. She, just like Anders, would stop at nothing less than Meredith’s corpse, and they both wanted nothing more than to finish this already, even if it meant stepping over Orsino’s, too.

They still followed his lead through the courtyard and inside the Gallows, nonetheless. Once they arrived he told them he’d hang back while they discussed their plan of attack and just to let him know once they were ready, which seemed to produce a collective, if inaudible, sigh of relief as they all huddled off to the side to speak.

“You’re all with us on this, right? For as much as I would hate to see it, if anyone wants to back out, now is the time.” Hawke’s voice wavered slightly, nerves starting to crack. The time for bad jokes to distract from the internal panic of rapidly envisioning every possible outcome of what was about to happen had officially passed, and it showed in her demeanor.

There was a brief pause where no one spoke, but no one moved either, save for Anders placing his hand on her shoulder. Everyone was clearly resolute, choices having already been made, but none of them seemed sure of how to approach the subject of what they were heading towards.

“I know we can do this. I believe in you, Hawke!” Merrill broke the silence, prompting a chuckle from Varric.

“Like I said, Daisy,” he smiled. “But in all seriousness, Hawke, I’m just sick of this shit. Blondie’s fireworks were great and all—very dwarven of you—but I think we’re all good to go get this the fuck over with already. Tell us what to do, and at least Bianca and I will follow your lead.”

“Donnic is waiting for us, along with the rest of my guards,” Aveline added. “You have all our support.”

“Zevran is still in Kirkwall, too, Hawke, and I _strongly_ suspect we’ll be seeing him around. Little bastard never could keep himself out of trouble,” Isabela smiled affectionately.

“Nathaniel Howe will be joining us, as well, sister. He still speaks fondly of Anders and Justice both, and he wishes to take this chance to fight alongside them once more. I must say, Marian, I wonder,” Carver swallowed, “I wonder what mother would think of us right now.”

“I think she’d be proud. She’d be proud of us finally getting along,” Hawke laughed anxiously, “and she’d probably never admit it, but she’d be proud of what we’re doing. Father worked hard to escape the Gallows, and I that think both of them, and even Bethany, would have appreciated that we’re here now, taking the damn thing down. Even if mother would be screaming from the rooftops for us to get ourselves away from this dangerous madness the whole time we did it.”

Carver nodded, and there was the slightest hint of watering in his eyes. “This is for those we’ve lost.”

“For those we’ve lost,” Hawke agreed, brushing Carver’s hand with her own as a silent tear slipped down her cheek.

“Hawke,” Fenris tentatively spoke up, the last of their friends to lend his voice. “If you had told me when we first met that I would one day be charging into battle in the name of the mages, I would likely have torn your heart out on the spot.” There was an uncharacteristic lightness to his tone, almost an air of amusement, and it made Hawke smile to hear it. “I would never have dreamed, however, that a blood mage would ever be responsible for effectively giving me my life. I know I have not always made it easy, but you have always been patient and remarkably understanding with my disdain for magic, for all it had taken from me, so know that I am trying, and that I am here with you on this.”

He extended his hand, and Hawke took it gratefully. “You have been a good friend throughout the years, Fenris, and I know that has been difficult for you to reconcile. I cannot judge you by your feelings towards magic or even mages, for as hard as that has been at times, because I know I cannot truly comprehend what you have been through. But I am glad to know that you’re willing to fight with us, because Maker knows we need you, and in more than one way.”

She let go of Fenris’s hand and wiped her eyes. She felt a little self-conscious about letting her emotions get the best of her at such a time, even so slightly, but she quickly noticed that she was far from the only one. Everybody was beginning to show their worry, not only for themselves but for each other. Merrill rested her head against Isabela’s shoulder, Aveline had one hand on Merrill’s back and her other arm wrapped around Carver, who had placed a hand on Varric’s shoulder as he anxiously loosened and tightened his grip on Bianca, and Fenris had placed a hand against Varric’s arm upon stepping back. From behind her, Hawke felt Anders shift to wrap his arms around her before pulling her tight against his chest. 

“Thank you. All of you. I love you guys so much, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t fucking terrified right now, which I suspect is true for all of us. So I guess there’s that whole strategy thing we were supposed be discussing, huh?” She choked out a small laugh. “Aveline, you and Donnic and whoever you have under your command who are willing to assist should take the front lines. Carver, Fenris, you should each be on either side of them to stay on top of any surprises, of which I’m sure there will be many. Varric, Merrill, I want you two behind me. Isabela, you’ll cover Anders. However, if Carver or Aveline have anything further to contribute, as the ones with _actual training_ in this sort of thing, you can discuss that amongst yourselves for a moment, as right now I would very much like to speak to Anders alone.”

Everyone collected themselves and began moving towards Orsino, and Hawke turned in Anders’s arms so that she was facing him, placing her hands on his hips.

"So. Where do you think we should we go after this is all over, love?" Anders looked into her eyes with all the affection in the world, a look that never ceased to make her heart feel so full and her entire being feel so safe and warm, as he ran his fingers through her hair.

"You mean you hadn't come up with any i...oh," Hawke placed a hand on Anders's cheek, brushing past the short strands of hair he could never seem to get to stay tied back. "I knew you were willing to give your life for this, of course I know you accepted that as a risk but...you really never even _considered_ that you would walk away from this, did you?”

"I’m still honestly not sure I should.” He bowed his head slightly, but opted to kiss her forehead instead of leaving it hang. “I know what I did. Just as I know I would absolutely do it again given the chance. But I still took potentially innocent lives doing it. Seeking justice for all mages does not exempt me from my due, Marian. Well, that and I certainly didn't imagine it would be in your hands."

"I think even Meredith is smart enough to know that if she’d so much as placed her own hands anywhere _near_ you, there wouldn't be anything left of this fucking city to fight over right now."

Anders rested his forehead over Hawke’s, sliding his hand from her hair to wipe away a tear that had rolled down her cheek, momentarily ignoring his own.

“Isabela offered us a place with her some time ago, said we’d be welcome aboard when she got another ship,” Hawke suggested. “It wouldn’t be a permanent solution, but it gets us out of _here,_ and it gives us a place to stay, for at least a little while.”

“That sounds like a good start, love. I wonder if King Alistair’s offer to welcome us back to Ferelden still stands now,” Anders laughed quietly. “Knowing what little I do about his relationship with the Chantry, and his relationship with Commander Amell for that matter, I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if it did. Of course, even the king can only protect us so much…”

“Well, it sounds like we’ve got something, then. _Fugitive pirates with connections to the Fereldan throne._ That does have a nice ring to it!” Hawke’s face lit up, and she realised she didn’t even care where they landed, as long as they both landed there in one piece.

He just stared back at her, eyes wide. “You’re so beautiful when you smile like that, love.”

“Just when I smile like that?”

“Always. You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, Marian, every time I look at you. Your smile, your eyes, your heart...I could not ask for a better partner, nor could I ever have dreamed that someone would ever stand behind me through all this.”

“Maker, Anders, you’re the best of all of us. _And_ the prettiest.” Hawke laughed, probably a bit louder than she should have. “You truly are, though. You deserve the world, my love, and I promise that for the rest of our lives I’m going to give you the best one I possibly can.”

“Ten years, a hundred years from now,” Anders’s voice shook with emotion, “someone like me will love someone like you, and there will be no Templars to tear them apart.”

“And that, Anders, _that_ will be the justice that this night will bring.” Hawke tilted her head to kiss him softly on the lips. “We should get moving, so we can make sure there are no Templars left here to touch us before dawn. I’m sure _our_ Justice must be getting antsy, too.”

Justice surfaced for a moment, just long enough simply to nod his assent, and Anders and Hawke made their way to Orsino and the rest of their crew.

“Right then,” Hawke proclaimed, voice suddenly steadied by righteous determination, “I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m well fucking ready to see Meredith’s head on a pike.”

Everyone present voiced their agreement, including a small collective of mages from the Circle who’d piled in while Hawke and Anders had been speaking, just as a group of Templars came bursting in. Weapons and war cries were raised all at once by both sides as they charged.

Hawke and Merrill’s hemorrhage spells alone were enough to take out most of the ambush, Templar blood spilling all around them, with Carver finishing off most everyone who didn’t immediately succumb to their magic. It was over almost as soon as it started, which seemed to shift the mood considerably. Aveline even let out a loud sigh of relief as Merrill leapt into Isabela’s arms, kissing her roughly, and everyone around them allowed themselves a moment to enjoy the small victory.

“Hey, umm, perhaps we shouldn’t get too far ahead of ourselves,” Carver interrupted, staring downwards at Orsino’s lifeless body.

“Well, shit,” Varric shrugged. “That was anti-climactic.”


	4. This City's Black from All the Ashes in Downtown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dealing with Orsino and finally preparing to properly move out to meet Meredith.
> 
> (I really thought going in that I'd have the entirety of the Last Straw done in about two chapters. Oops.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for how long this has been taking. This particular update took its time just because I kept staring at this chapter thinking it needed to be longer, needed something else to it, but the more I looked at it the more I decided it is what it should be and that I shouldn't force it. Oh well, hopefully others agree.
> 
> Title of this chapter is from the song "Your Lips Are Red" by St. Vincent.

“I’m not sure I even want to know,” Hawke mumbled at Varric as he stared down thoughtfully at Orsino’s corpse.

“Don’t worry, Hawke, I’ve got big plans for him,” he responded with a laugh, albeit a very forced one.

“That’s it. I’m done. I am fucking done, Hawke.” Aveline was seething. “I can’t take this anymore. My patience has been worn. You want justice?! Let’s go find justice. We can pry it from Meredith’s cold, dead bloody hands, I swear by the Ma—”

“Easy, big girl, easy,” Isabela still had Merrill in her arms, running her hands through her hair. “We’ve got this.”

“They killed the fucking First Enchanter, Isabela, you do see that?” Carver’s ire was almost a match for Aveline’s. “They killed the most respected mage in this city, and they were so fucking efficient that none of us even fucking saw them do it!”

“Creators, Carver, that’s not helping anyone!” Merrill tilted her head to look him directly in the eyes. “He may have been the most respected mage, but that doesn’t mean a damn thing here and you know it. He still wasn’t _actually_ respected by anyone in Kirkwall, and even if he was, what does that make him to us? He disagreed with the Knight-Commander’s practices, but even the Templars have been doing _that_ here and there! This was never his war, not really, and we never needed him to begin with. We’ve got each other, just as we have for years now, and what really matters beyond that?”

“With all due respect, Merrill, I don’t think the power of friendship—”

“Shut it, Carver. I’m hopeful, not stupid. We have strong fighters. Three warriors, two rogues, three mages, that’s what we’ve got, and we all worked hard to be able to get to where we are. Two of us know blood magic, two of us have trained with the Grey Wardens, two of us are former military, one of us became Captain of the Guard against powerful odds, one of us is physically enhanced by lyrium, one of us is an infamous pirate, one of us has the most impressive crossbow Thedas has ever seen,” Merrill shot Varric a wink at that, which he returned, “and one of is bringing _literal fucking Justice_ to the fight. Not only that, but we have additional allies waiting for us! So yes, I agree with Isabela, I absolutely do believe we’ve got this. And it’s not because I’m naïve, although that’s clearly what you think, but it’s because I’ve been paying attention to my bloody surroundings.”

Carver simply nodded, and Hawke smiled gratefully at Merrill. _That certainly shut everyone up._

Isabela kissed the top of Merrill’s head. “I didn’t think you could even get that angry, kitten. I think I like this side of you.”

Merrill hummed against Isabela before separating herself, taking hold of her staff and shifting into a defensive stance.

Hawke took a deep breath, unwilling to admit out loud that she saw Carver’s argument just as well as Merrill’s. “To justice, then?”

Aveline moved forward, ahead of the rest, her stride quickly becoming a charge. “To justice. Let’s bloody move!”

Hawke followed, moving cautiously as she fumbled around in her pack, anxiously checking to make sure she’d stocked up on healing and lyrium potions as well as she thought she had as they moved. Once she was clearly satisfied with her findings, Anders wrapped his arm around her, neither of them stopping.

“Alright, love?”

“Just promise me nothing’s going to happen to you out there.” There was a slight shake in her voice despite herself. “I couldn’t bear to lose any one of us, but...Maker, Anders, promise me you’re going to be okay.”

“You know I can’t promise something like that, Marian,” Anders replied, biting his bottom lip. “If any of us could, I’d make you say the same. Merrill’s right, though, we are a formidable bunch.”

“I’m going to see that bitch in pieces if it’s the last thing I do, I swear to you, Anders. I’m swearing it to Justice, too, if he can hear me.”

“He can, and he approves, but we—” Anders’s eyes shot blue, suddenly shifting into Justice’s, “We do not wish to lose you to her. Meredith’s end is necessary to our cause, and have no doubt that it will come. Your death here, however, would be most unjust.”

“Justice,” Hawke tightened her grip on her staff as she moved her other arm across his back, letting her hand rest on his hip. “Do you like cats?”

“I do not understand the relevance of your question.”

“No relevance, really, except that Anders loves them, as I’m sure you well know, and I guess I was just curious how you would feel about getting one whenever we eventually settle somewhere.”

Justice pondered the question for a moment. “It would make Anders very happy.”

“Well,” Hawke laughed quietly, “then that settles it. I’ll make sure to add it to the priority list.”

There was a brief pause as everyone stopped moving. Aveline had found Templars, and everyone else was moving into formation.

“Justice,” Hawke addressed him again, hesitantly, but making a point to catch him before Anders resurfaced. “You can protect him, can’t you? You can see that nothing happens to him?”

“I can protect him, yes, bu—.”

“Good. Thank you, that’s all I needed to know. Let’s go kill something."


	5. Here We Are Juggernaut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They finally catch up with Meredith and start planning for the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am finally moving into post-canon! Whoo!
> 
> And yes, I am trying desperately to better work in more Merribela because I ship it so much it hurts.
> 
> Title of this chapter is from the song of the same name by Coheed and Cambria.

“Creators,” Merrill shouted as the statues began to move, “and to think she’s so afraid of a little blood magic!”

They’d fought through scores of Templars all along the way, they had faced demons, they had literally walked through fire to make it back to the courtyard, but none of them could have anticipated this.

“How in the Void is she moving like that?” Hawke knew no one could hear her to answer, but it had been a mostly rhetorical question in any case.

Meredith had practically flown to the stairs as she summoned the statues around them, powered by the red lyrium of the sword she had so carelessly embraced, but Nathaniel had been able to keep her in his sights, launching arrow after arrow, although she didn’t even seem to notice whenever one made contact.

“Andraste guide me!” Hawke heard Nathaniel’s shout, as well as Anders’s laugh as it followed.

“Just like old times! Right, Nate?”

She caught the amused shake of the archer’s head as another arrow landed and Zevran, too, made his way after the Knight-Commander.

Hawke poured ice magic into the statue nearest her, and Carver swung his sword into each newly frozen spot. They were managing to chip away at it, just as Merrill and Donnic were doing on another, but it was proving to be a slow and infuriating process.

Meredith appeared back in the centre of the courtyard, Zevran close behind, and his daggers repeatedly made seemingly effortless contact, but it appeared to make little difference. She only laughed, the sound growing louder and more terrifying with each blow.

Anders moved quickly from behind Isabela and the statue they had started on to launch a chain of lightning at Meredith, and she shuddered as it struck. Aveline led a faction of her guards as they took their chance to charge her, and Fenris’s maul made contact from behind. Hawke couldn’t even remember how long this had been going on by that point, only that it was growing more tedious than anything.

She had been trying to avoid blood magic so that Anders could keep his healing concerns to those who may be injured by outside forces and to Merrill, but she found her hands shaking as she downed her last lyrium potion. The fight was more monotonous than it even was difficult, but the mana she’d expended just from how long this had been drawing out was taking its toll. _She’s probably doing this on purpose,_ she guessed.

Hawke closed her eyes and swallowed down hard as she felt some of her mana replenish, and reached for her dagger in preparation once she had resumed her efforts to freeze as much of the statue she and her brother had claimed as she possibly could.

She stopped in her tracks as the statue froze abruptly, not from her magic but seemingly of its own accord, and as she looked around she saw that the others had done the same.

Meredith’s laughter caught her attention once again. The Knight-Commander positively cackled as she found herself surrounded by Aveline and her guards, by Nathaniel and Zevran, by Fenris, even by her Knight-Captain and his last-minute change in sides, and by Hawke and everyone else present as they rapidly closed in on her.

Hawke still had a hand rested over her dagger, and she took it from her belt, handing it to Anders with a nod. She wanted to see him be the one to take a final blow, and she didn’t want it done with magic. She wanted him to slit her throat, remind her one last time that one doesn’t need magic to be dangerous. They never got the chance, however, as Meredith’s laughter transformed into horrified screaming as the red lyrium consumed her.

“Andraste’s tits, what the fuck was that?” Varric could only stare at the rock solid fixture that had once been Meredith Stannard.

“Haven’t a clue,” Anders shrugged as he handed Hawke back her blade. “But I’m sure you’ll figure something out.”

“Shit, Blondie,” Varric exhaled. “I don’t think even I can do anything else with that. Looks like this scene just wrote itself. But you know, we probably shouldn’t be standing so close...”

They all stepped back at once at Varric’s words, and as they did the remaining Templars in the courtyard began to move in closer.

Every last person left standing held up their guards, as well as their weapons, and for a moment they just eyed each other, no one moving. Hawke and her friends braced themselves for the stand-off to turn violent, but it didn’t. The surrounding Templars simply looked at them, then looked at each other, and fell back. In turn, not wanting to give them time to change their minds, the whole group of them marched their way back to Isabela’s newly claimed ship, and everyone boarded without question.

***

“If anyone has any idea where we should be going, now would be a good time to start throwing out suggestions,” Isabela stated as they made their way out onto the water. “I’ll make a stop at the Wounded Coast for anyone who isn’t coming with us past this point, but I’m getting all of us the fuck out of Kirkwall proper and I’m doing it now.”

Hawke and Anders stood off together, looking back as the City of Chains burned behind them. She thought of how many people left there had seen them sailing away, knowing who exactly was on board, maybe even trying to get a feel for the direction they were heading. The fact that they didn’t even yet know themselves almost felt like a small relief, that maybe it gave them an even better head start if no one at all could place their next move.

“It’ll be a quick trip to the Wounded Coast, love,” Anders spoke up. “We should probably join the others, say our goodbyes to everyone who’ll be getting off there.”

“Anders,” Nathaniel spoke up as they sat down by Isabela and the helm with everyone else. “It was nice to work together again, wasn’t it?”

“You say that like it had ever been nice in Amaranthine to start with, Nate,” Anders laughed back at him. “Seriously, though, thank you. It was an honour to have you back at our side. Justice did always like you. And if you see any of the others, be sure to tell them hello from m...us. Tell them hello from _us.”_

“I will. I haven’t seen them much myself since Commander Amell left and we all split off, unfortunately, but I’m sure they’d all be glad to know you two are alright.”

“Tell me about the Hero of Ferelden, Nathaniel,” Hawke chimed in. “Anders doesn’t really speak much of his time with the Wardens.”

“She’s a very special woman, Hawke. In fact, I think the two of you would’ve gotten on wonderfully.” Nathaniel paused when Anders nodded. “She conscripted me for the Grey Wardens when she found me in Vigil's Keep, even though I was there to kill her, truth be told.”

“Did she know?” Hawke found herself suddenly fascinated.

“She did, yes. I wasn’t exactly subtle about my intentions. And do you know what she said to me when she was questioned about it? She said, and I’m serious, ‘some of my best friends have tried to kill me.’”

“Ah,” Zevran interjected, “she would have been referring to me on that note.”

“Maker, it sounds like she has an even stranger way of making friends than I do,” Hawke laughed.

“At least _I_ didn’t try to kill her,” Isabela added.

“You met her, too?” Hawke asked as Zevran burst out laughing.

“Oh yes, she certainly did,” Zevran winked. “Believe me, I was there.”

“No, Zev wasn’t _there_ there, he was just present for the initial introductions. Mm, I don’t know which one of them’s luckier, her or that King she’s claimed.” Isabela just smirked back at them. “I’ve actually always meant to ask you, Hawke, are the two of you related? Because I think that’d be a first for me.”

Varric let out a loud “ha” at Isabela’s words. “The things I learn about you people, I swear.”

Hawke couldn’t help her own laughter. “Actually, we are. Second cousins or something, I don’t exactly remember. We’ve never met or anything, but Mother said she’s one of ours. I _think_ she knew her mother.”

“She didn’t even know her mother.” Anders and Zevran spoke almost in unison.

“I’m sure she’ll be proud of you whenever she learns of this, friend,” Zevran placed a hand over Anders’s. “She always hated the Circle and the Chantry politics herself.”

“I remember,” Anders grinned. “She was a great student back in the Circle, and always such a kiss-ass. Most of the apprentices hated her, but I’d spoken to her enough even then that I’d always figured she was going to do something big that would piss off the Chantry someday. I wouldn’t have imagined her as a Grey Warden, but I suppose I never imagined that’s how I’d finally get out, either.”

“I’ve heard the rumours that she’s gone missing, that not even King Alistair knows where she is,” Carver said. “Is that true? No one has any idea at all?”

“That’s the rumour, indeed,” Nathaniel said, looking to Zevran.

“I’m afraid I am just as clueless as the rest,” he admitted. “Why do you ask?”

“I just thought that maybe if you could find her, she might be able to help,” Carver suggested. “I suppose it still can’t hurt to try?”

“That’s certainly not the worst idea you’ve ever had,” Hawke teased. “Anders did mention a bit earlier that he thinks we might still have a shot at making good on the King’s favour.”

“I met him in Amaranthine, as well,” Anders nodded. “He personally backed the Commander when she conscripted me. Oh and you should have _seen_ that Templar’s face when he said it!”

“He was trained as a Templar, himself,” Zevran explained. “Not his choice, don’t fret. He was always going on about how the Grey Wardens _saved_ him from having to take his vows. Leliana never did quite figure out what to do with him.”

“From all the stories I’ve heard, I’m sure Wynne just _loved_ travelling with you lot,” Anders laughed.

“To be honest, Autumn saw Wynne as the grandmother she never knew. When they were not at each other’s throats about politics, of course. Or blood magic. Or, for that matter, Morrigan.” Zevran chuckled to himself.

“I never knew the Hero of Ferelden was a blood mage,” Merrill chimed in. “She visited my old clan once. I wasn’t there, I didn’t get to meet her myself, but I know that she peacefully settled the conflict between my people there and the werewolves that had been going on for over a thousand years. Before she did it, no one would ever have believed it possible.”

“Am I taking us to Ferelden, then?” Isabela asked.

“I should be able to find some contacts from the Mages Collective there, too,” Anders added. “I’m sure they’d help keep us hidden while we figure out the rest.”

“I suppose that’s a yes, then, Captain,” Hawke replied with a grin. It felt good to at least have some of the groundwork laid out.

“Autumn was involved with the Collective, as well,” Zevran noted. “So that sounds like a good place for you to start on multiple fronts!”

“Wounded Coast up ahead,” Isabela shouted as she steered the ship towards the nearby mass of land. “And until I get a proper crew back, everyone who’s staying on is going to need to help.”

Just about everyone stood as they approached the Coast.

“It has been a pleasure,” Nathaniel said as he shook Hawke’s hand, before moving over to hug Anders. “As always.”

“Always good to see you, Isabela,” Zevran grinned as he kissed her cheek, and then did the same for Merrill. “I see you have a thing for gorgeous elves. Very nice taste, indeed.”

Merrill just nodded with a wide smile as Zevran made his way back to Hawke and Anders. Carver was still making his rounds, having started his farewells to Aveline and Donnic.

“I wish you well, my friends,” Zevran kissed Hawke’s hand, and then Anders’s. “If you find her, be sure to tell her she has many old friends who miss her very much.”

“We will,” Anders nodded as Carver made his way towards them.

“I imagine we’re going to have some explaining to do,” he said to Nathaniel, who nodded. “But it was certainly worth it to be able to be there with you, sister. Please write me as soon as you are able. Keep me in the loop as much as you can.”

“As soon as we are sure it’s safe, and as often as we are sure it’s safe,” Hawke replied as she pulled him in for a hug.

Carver pulled back and extended his hand to Anders. “Please promise me that you two will at least _try_ to keep a low profile.”

Anders nodded, but Hawke was the one to respond. “We’ll do our best, but you should know us well enough by now to realise we won’t be sitting out the rebellion.”

“Believe me, Marian, I know. Just promise me you’ll be careful, and you will try—key word, try—to do it quietly.”

“We promise,” Anders said, letting go of Carver’s hand.

Carver, Nathaniel, and Zevran finished their goodbyes and departed onto the Coast, and Aveline and Donnic approached Isabela to volunteer themselves for her makeshift interim crew.

“Have either of you ever done anything like this before?”

“No, but we’re both fast learners,” Aveline replied. “And we pull our own weight. You need help, you’ve got it.”

“Sounds good to me, big girl,” Isabela smiled as Fenris joined them. “Let’s start with the basics, then…”

Hawke and Anders approached, as well, but Isabela just held up her hand. “You two should probably head below deck for now. You may yet be needed, but we’ll get to that if and when it comes to it. For now, get out of sight.”

“Isabela,” Hawke frowned. “Do you really think us hiding below is going to matter if anyone sees you?”

“Probably not, but it can’t hurt to try,” Merrill interjected. “There’s enough of us that we can handle this without you for now. And take Varric with you, he doesn’t seem like he’s doing too well up here. He says that dwarves don’t belong on the water.”

“Because we don’t,” Varric spoke up, the only one who had remained seated.

“Alright, let’s see if we can’t find some proper quarters or something down there,” Hawke winked at Anders, and they just laughed as Varric gave an exasperated sigh in response.


	6. You're Fearless in Motion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anders and Hawke spend some time alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic still lives! I promise! I've been pretty wrapped up in It Means Tumult and that stole the majority of my writing focus, and that is still the case, but I have definitely not abandoned this one and the inspiration to return to it struck me so, here we are. Fluff, fluff, fluff. And even, this time, a nice helping of smut!
> 
> I've also made some very minor adjustments to the first chapter to more accurately reflect my feelings towards Justice and his relationship with both Anders and Hawke, and to keep better continuity with the rest of my in-universe fics.
> 
> Title of this chapter is from the song "Platinum" by Orgy.

They were pleased to find that there were in fact a few small rooms below deck. Varric moved into the one farthest from where Hawke and Anders settled themselves, knowing too well exactly how they were going to use their privacy, grumbling to himself about the sea and how even surface dwarves have their limits as the flimsy doors to both areas closed.

“Finally,” Hawke couldn’t help herself. She pushed herself into Anders's lap, gently rolling her hips, sliding her hands into his hair. “Is it wrong that I’m not sure I have ever wanted you more than I do right now?”

Anders blinked at her for a moment, once again surprised by Hawke’s reactions to the evening’s events, but he shifted right into the mood, with that look in his eyes, that tone in his voice that she loved so much. “Is that so?”

“I told you, I love it when you go all hot-headed revolutionary.”

He pushed her from his lap, forcing her onto her back. He straddled her, holding her down by her wrists, pinning her to the bunk. He moved his hips to tease, and she returned the favour.

In that moment, Anders felt himself let go. In that moment, they didn’t have to fugitives. For just that moment, while it was still only the two of them, they decided they could let themselves simply be lovers, and that nothing else mattered.

Anders moved back and wasted no time pulling off Hawke's boots and trousers, and she took care of the rest as he pushed back to undress himself. He crawled back over her, staring her directly in the eyes as he immediately moved to thrust into her, watching her eyes widen. He pulled one of her legs up over his shoulder, moving to reclaim her wrists with one hand and taking her clit with the other.

“You might want to try to be quiet, love,” he noted with a smirk, and it was very clear he intended to make it a challenge.

She tried and failed to hold back her voice as he summoned magic to his fingertips, casting cold and then heat against her before finally emitting a small burst of electricity, at which point nothing could have held back her shout as she came hard. It wasn’t even ruined when they heard Varric’s annoyance carry loudly through the thin walls. They only paused for a moment to laugh.

“Perhaps we can provide everyone some entertainment? After the day we’ve all had, I’m sure they could use it,” Hawke smiled, and Anders let go of her wrists and wrapped both his arms around her instead, holding her as close as he could when she reciprocated, and she wrapped her free leg around his waist to do her part to close any possible distance between them, doing her best to move with him in time as his thrusts grew rapidly harder and faster.

“Fuck, Marian…”

She gripped his hair harshly as he spoke, magic dancing back and forth between them, the drastic fluctuations between hot and cold against each other’s skin between the continuing shocks of the currents they both channelled, and Hawke came again as Anders’s motions lost all sense of control and transformed practically into writhing.

She bit his shoulder when she came again, and he moaned desperately at the sensation. He was close, himself, and they both struggled to reign in their mana as they lost themselves in each other completely.

“Easy, easy,” Anders rasped as she pulled back a frost spell, and he took in a deep breath as he focused to allow himself to let loose one last burst of electricity, claiming her mouth when he did, his lips barely muffling her cries as she came again, her own lips barely concealing his moans, and certainly not taking anything from the weight of the shout he couldn’t even try to contain when his orgasm promptly followed.

“Fuck,” Hawke whispered as soon as she could catch her breath enough to do so, their arms still tangled around each other in the afterglow, both of them still shaking. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” he smiled.

“Well, that ought to keep everyone talking for a while,” she laughed.

They rolled onto their sides and Anders pulled Hawke in, nuzzling his nose against her neck, lazily kissing along it, and they both let out sighs of contentment.

“Aren’t you afraid?” Anders asked after a moment, and Hawke reluctantly nodded.

“Of course I am,” she exhaled softly, moving her hand over his as she spoke. “But I was afraid of going to Kirkwall, too. I was afraid of living without Father, without Bethany, without Mother. I was afraid of sending Carver to the Wardens. I was afraid of the Arishok, I was afraid of Meredith. I’ve always been afraid of Templars. Fuck, I’m afraid of giant spiders. But I’ve gotten through all that, so I’ll get through this. We’ll get through it _together.”_

“Yeah.”

“How are you holding up?”

“Better now,” Anders chuckled quietly, tightening his hold around her. “I think this is the calmest Justice has ever been. He’s...he’s happy.”

“Good,” she smiled. “But for as much as I love Justice, I asked about _you._ I’m sure he understands.”

“He does,” Anders nodded. “I’m well, I think. As much as I can be, at least. I realise it’s on me, that I’m the one who put us in this situation to begin with, and I accept that, but I still _hate_ this not knowing what comes next. Sure, we’re heading to Ferelden, but where do we go once we get there? It’s a whole country, and I doubt we can just wander into Denerim to ask the King’s audience outright. Not ourselves, at least, the risk of recognition is probably already too high. And I’m not going anywhere _near_ Amaranthine.”

“No,” Hawke said sharply. “This is on Elthina. Everything that’s happened comes down to her, okay?”

Anders tentatively hummed in affirmation, and Hawke waited a few seconds before she spoke up again. “Do you know where the nearest Collective outpost is?”

“They’re everywhere, Marian, don’t worry about that. If we find a city, we’ll find a contact.”

“We just need to find a place to hide once we dock, is all. We’ll talk to the Collective and Varric will get his people to work once we’re somewhere from which he can send a messenger. Between the lot of us, we should be able to pool our resources and connections well enough to get by for now.”

“Do you really think they’ll stay with us?”

“For a while, at least.” Hawke swallowed hard, not wanting to think of the inevitable. She knew that even if nothing else, they were a conspicuously large group for a bunch of fugitives, but she wanted to hold on to her chosen family for as long as she could. “I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before Aveline and Donnic return to Kirkwall. I don’t know what in the Void they’ll say when they do, but they will. I have no doubt about that. Isabela has a ship now, so she and Merrill will probably just end up heading out to sea when the time comes. I think they’ll stay as long as they are able to, though. Varric, too. Fenris has his own calling, and I don’t know how much time it will be before he runs off to find it, but I know where his loyalties lie. As long as they can, then. Yeah.”

“I’m sorry things are changing like this,” Anders mumbled against her shoulder.

“It’s still not your apology. It’s _good_ that things are changing, at least on your part, and this is the beginning there and I’m so fucking _excited_ for what comes next, but…” Hawke took in a breath as she trailed off, closing her eyes. “I can’t deny how nice it’s been to have a real family all these years.”

“You’re right, love,” he answered sincerely, his own thoughts wandering to the rest of their little crew. “We are a family, and no matter what happens, we’ll always have each other. Regardless of where any of us end up.”

“Mmhm,” she hummed, exhaustion finally catching up to them both.

It was a start. They had the loose beginnings of a plan, they had each other, they had their friends, and they had a revolution to attend to. The thought was every bit as nerve-wracking as it was comforting, but it was comforting all the same, and they both relaxed enough to let sleep claim them set firmly in the knowledge that they were on the right path, wherever it was about to take them.


End file.
